Bittersweet Immortality;

A never-ending life of happiness and melancholy,

Because they are Immortals...

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Why can't I enjoy my day in happiness???

......


I was SOOO HAPPPYYY!!! I finally got my frend back!!! n it was sooo amazing the feeling though we cried...(she cried i just cried a bit but it was mostly tears of joy...i mean i got my frend back!!!! we're frends back!!!!!!) But IT WAS realy sad n hurting when she looks n cry...she can't control it...i realy hate it when she cry cuz i can't help her stop crying n that makes ME realy useless!!! but we're frends n i thnx GOD 4 bringing us back!!!
But then......just going home after a tiring day( i learned the whole dance steps in 2 hours!!! not 2 mention the weariness of boredom...haiz...)
my dad...he said that we're not going...AGAIN!!! I'm realy anoyed n upset that he take back on his word again...He wants me 2 complete my fr5 n then go there!!! he's been saying that since i was fr1!!! i drop the exco post i could get when i was in fr1...i start slacking on my studies when i was in fr2...(my fault xtualy but stil..) fr3...i didn't wan 2 take pmr...but wat 2 do..i don't hav the money...so i hav 2 suck it up n go 4 the exam...haiz... i don't wan 2 get a fight wit him but...i don't wan 2 wait anymre...i kno he's worried n all but...it's frustrating...
There r soo many probs here I just wan 2 move out fr here n start over anew...is it that hard?? I don't c the trouble...Wat's the prob of starting high skol again there??? Y isit better 2 stay here til fr5 n after spm go there n go 2 college??? I don't c any issue....y??? Or is there mre??? Now he gav me this "choice" 2 go there n start fr square 1 or go there n continue moving 4ward...
Wat is the prob wit square 1?? Course i don't wan 2 leave my frends here...Unlike sme frends..(i would gladly leave al those unworthy frends...wit no 2nd thought) but i would stil c them right??? it's not like i'm gonna die...i can stil chat wit them..n force them 2 go get webcam n we can c each other..... Course it'l b al very new 4 me but if u can't except changes n adapt wit it...u'l NEVER change!!! N the choice...i understand..i'm feeling scared 2...I xtualy hav 2nd doubts, but it's pointless putting it off again... in the end we're stil leaving...




I'm lost n confuse n blind...suddenly this songcame into my head(Amazing Grace came into my mind...freaky, but true...) can we alll just go now??? pls..Hei big guy up there!!! Gimme a sign!! a clue!!! Anything but smeting!!!!! pls!!!!..

Wish ur awake now...u can at least help me...haiz...

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